“Remember to always speak in a dull, monotone voice so as not to reveal any enthusiasm – remember, a passionate speech can be interpreted as ‘emotional,’ which is political suicide for a woman! You want to be seen as cold, determined, and unfeeling, but also not too cold, determined, and unfeeling, because then you’ll be called a bitch. This is a tough balance to strike; everyone knows women have 77% more emotions than men. Men only experience anger, lust, and angerlust, an emotion felt when the sports team they love is doing poorly.”

– “A Woman’s Guide to Running for Political Office” by Karen Chee

The piece is available: http://the-toast.net/2015/08/06/a-womans-guide-to-running-for-political-office/. If you read The Toast, you probably recognize this sly, smart humor from a feminist perspective. If you don’t read The Toast but like well-written fiction and non-fiction, book reviews, funny listicles, and other amusing social commentary with a feminist perspective, I suggest you check it out.

In describing what The Toast would be like, founders Mallory Ortberg and Nicole Cliffe wrote,

“We strive to be intersectionally feminist. We are pro-choice. We are pro-queer. We are pro-trans. We strive to feature writing from women of all ethnic backgrounds, to be a place where women who are not all white and under thirty and straight and living in New York City are also writing about ‘Battlestar Galactica’ and ‘Sherlock’ and which BB creams work for them, and their friendships and the time they broke their arm playing field hockey. We want to write about books, and think about books, and read books together and then talk about them. We want to hear about your books. We want to read fanfiction about Cold Comfort Farm (Indiebound | Amazon) and also Love & Basketball.”

–“And Here We Are”

I find much of the writing on The Toast funny, inspiring, and at times, devastating. The passage I posted from “A Woman’s Guide to Running for Political Office” is both funny and devastating. Funny for obvious reasons, I mean angerlust, come on. Devastating because well, it rings true.

The language used to describe women is different than the language used to describe men. Women have won equality on many fronts, but we are still treated differently. It is true for female politicians. It is true for female bodybuilders. It is true for female accountants. If you are a woman, the way you react and the way your emotions are described is different than the way men’s reactions and emotions are described.

Chee writes, “Everyone knows women have 77% more emotions than men.” It’s funny, but it also makes a good point. Women are viewed as more emotional than men pretty much across the board. But is that really true? Or is that just what we have been told over and over again so it seems true?

It is certainly more acceptable for women to show their emotions than men. Women are generally not taught to suppress their emotions like men are taught. This is unhealthy for men, of course.

But it is only acceptable for certain women. If a woman is trying to succeed in a role viewed as typically masculine role, she must act more like a “man,” e.g. hide her emotions.

It is a fine line, as this passage also points out. Chee writes, “You want to be seen as cold, determined, and unfeeling, but also not too cold, determined, and unfeeling, because then you’ll be called a bitch.” A woman must walk an invisible line of being unemotional, but not too cold.

And who draws the line? If you’re a politician or any sort of public figure, everyone from newscasters to other politicians to internet commenters state their opinions about how female public figures look, act, and dress.

And yes, men are subject to scrutiny too. But it’s different. Women are held to different standards, different ridiculous, belittling, nearly impossible standards.

And I’m tired of it. And so is Karen Chee, obviously. And a hell of a lot of other women are tired of it too.

And I am tired of being called too emotional when I’m passionate about something. And I’m tired of being called a bitch for disagreeing with someone. And most of all, I am tired of seeing these labels applied to fierce, intelligent people who define themselves women.

I believe men and women are equal. I mean, don’t you? It’s about time we started using language that reflects our equality. It’s about time we acknowledge suggesting a woman is inferior to a man accomplishes only one thing.

It makes you look ignorant.

This week’s video is “Not A Pretty Girl” by Ani Difranco.