In the article “Hillary baits Bernie beautifully: ‘Shouting,’ sexism — and the simple sorry that would make Sanders look less jerky,” Amanda Marcotte writes,

“During the first Democratic debate, Sanders responded to Clinton’s impassioned anti-gun argument by telling her that ‘all the shouting in the world’ won’t fix the issue. Now Clinton, to huge amounts of applause from the women in her audiences, has taken to saying, ‘Sometimes when a woman speaks out, some people think it’s shouting.’”

The full article is here: http://www.salon.com/2015/10/27/hillary_baits_bernie_beautifully_shouting_sexism_and_the_simple_sorry_that_would_make_sanders_look_less_jerky/.

Clinton is suggesting Sanders’ rebuttal is sexist. Sanders is known for shouting, and him suggesting Clinton needs to keep it down does seem like a double standard.

Women are responding to Clinton’s statement because we can relate.

I have a print hanging in my dining room. It says, “When a man expresses his opinion, he’s  a man. When a woman expresses her opinion, she’s a bitch -Bette Davis.”

Men are allowed to express their opinions freely. Men are allowed to raise their voices. Women are not.

As this article points out, even if Sanders does this to other men, it still doesn’t excuse his behavior.

Marcotte writes, “When a man is condescending to you, it’s often hard to tell if that’s just how he is to everyone or if it’s just women he talks down to. It gets even more complicated when you realize that a lot of men who are condescending to everyone still turn the volume up even more when they’re talking to women.”

So Sanders tells everyone to quit shouting about gun control. It doesn’t mean he wasn’t talking down to Clinton when he spoke to her.

And it also certainly doesn’t mean a man that tells you to lower your voice isn’t being condescending. Or that a man who yells at everyone might still yell extra loud at women. It, as Marcotte points out, so hard to know.

What is a woman to do? Too often, we do nothing. We stand there and let a man talk down to us. We let a man make us feel smaller because we are too nice or too afraid or too both.

And when I say we, I do mean we. I am guilty too.

Marcotte also writes, “Most feminists have dealt with condescending liberal men who think their support for abortion rights means they get to talk to you like you’re a child.”

I know this guy. I know way too many of this guy. It is like a shitty epidemic. Add one part beard, one part skinny jeans, and two great big dollops of misogyny.

Your girlfriend is a feminist? Doesn’t mean you don’t act like a misogynist. Or a racist. Or a homophobe. Or a delightful combination of all three.

And guess who gets to decide if what you are doing comes off as anti-woman? Not you, shitty, liberal dude.

What kind of sense does it make for a man to decide if a woman should feel offended?

It doesn’t. And yet, on so many occasions, I was told I was wrong about the thing they said, their friend said, or a shirt a scientist wore, being offensive.

I have hit my limit. I will not be shouted into submission. I will not accept your condescension. I will not be told what is offensive to women.

I am a woman. I am the only one qualified to decide what is offensive to me.

This week’s video is “Just One of the Guys” by Jenny Lewis.